Beyond Love
The story of 'DrD' & 'Vampness'
Ever since 'Infected' was the 'video of the week' at Germany's highly popular music tv show
'Formel 1' back in 1987, I've been a huge fan of The The. Matt Johnson's music spoke to me on
an intellectual as much as on an emotional level. Although my musical taste has changed a lot
throughout the years, Matt Johnson's music still has its special place.
I can’t remember if I first heard The The on the local alternative radio station in the 80s (WLIR),
or saw a video on MTV. I think it was the radio. Later I bought a cassette of Infected and
totally dug them. Unique, haunting, always relevant somehow – The The has inspired me in my
life and my songwriting for the past couple of decades. They (he) will always be among my top
favorites and a fixture in my collection.
It's funny how the internet would change my world. Up until I went online I was chasing The The
records in every single store I visited, but it was a challenging job. I also barely knew any
other fan. And then I discovered the The The forum and was able to talk to other people.
The day that would change my life completely was November 11th, 2001 - although we later had
to look up that day. It just wasn't evident at all how important that email would become. I
loosely had been talking to a girl who called herself 'Vampness' on the The The forum board
before, and we realized we shared musical tastes beyond The The.
Vampness - Michele - and I both had our love for Punk, Hardcore and some more stuff in common.
We had things to talk about beyond The The. In fact, we even both started labels a few years
later after we started talking.
Michele and I even were very flirty in our emails, but she lived in New York City, and that
didn't sound like anything substantial could grow out of our conversation. And so I never
travelled to the US to meet her and find out.
I discovered the power of the internet before many of my musician friends did, and in 1998 I
had created a basic website for my band at the time, Vampness. I then had a fancier website
developed by a former bandmate of mine, but the band broke up before that could really get
launched.
So, even with all of my “web savviness”, it simply never occurred to me until a couple of years
later to start looking for my favorite bands and see what they’ve got up there for the world
to see. And WOW, I discovered amazing things! Including my future! But had you told me that
back then I would’ve never believed it.
So there I was, finding other people who loved The The as much as I did, and really gained a
sense of belonging that was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. And among that group? Dietmar.
Probably the first person I really connected with on the forum boards there. Not sure why,
could be that we overlapped in other musical genres that were far, far away from the world of
the other The The fans. Whatever the case, I wound up emailing him on November 11, 2001, two
months after the world became something entirely different than it had been… at least on my
little island of Manhattan. The email was purely about music, I had no idea how fateful it
would be. We exchanged a few emails back and forth, and then started chatting on IM.
Isn’t that amazing - someone from Germany and someone from America just chatting, like we were
next to each other. I remember the IMs being a bit flirty, but I had no idea what he looked
like. The connection was purely through words. Or perhaps we were those ‘kindred spirits.’
He kept telling me about times he was coming to NY but they never panned out. Time took its toll
and we eventually drifted apart, lost touch, with the occasional reaching out.
Years went by. I made it to the States several times, but never ever to Manhattan where Michele
lives. A quick pizza somewhere in Brooklyn on a trip between Boston and Baltimore was the closest
I got to her - but I did not call. Our contact got looser and looser: An e-mail every once in
a while, a 'How's life? I guess your new apartment isn't so new anymore', and a vow to write
more regularly - that was that.
Until - finally - I went to Panama with a connecting flight in Newark and no extra charge for
a stop-over. I was excited, and nervous too: Would she be fine with letting me crash on her
couch? Would she really want a guy in her apartment she barely knew? All doubts were unfounded -
Michele got back to me within hours, and a few months later, on a very cold day in March 2007,
we finally met. At the subway station on 42nd Street and 6th Avenue; 15 stairs down.
It was a weird feeling, a good feeling, a very close feeling: Yes, we barely knew each other,
but no, we didn't feel like strangers at all. It was like meeting an old friend you might have
not seen for a long time but one who you are in sync with again right away.
We talked a lot about everything (and The The), her cats loved me, we loved going out. We
should have met way earlier. And when I left, we knew we would see each other again soon.
And was it just coincidence that while I was waiting for my flight to Berlin a late passenger
was announced who was about to miss his flight to Stockholm? A passenger called Mr. Matt Johnson?
In 2007 I got a surprise email from Dietmar - he was going to be in Panama on vacation for three
weeks in March 2007 and wanted to come to NYC for a few days after that. Could he crash on my floor?
WOW! I’m finally going to meet Dietmar?? Of course I told him he was welcome to stay here.
My roommate was wary, "You’re letting a complete stranger stay in our apartment for 4 days?" My
fateful reply, "He's not a stranger, he’s my friend. I’ve known him for years! Just because we
haven’t met in person…"
Well, truer words were never spoken. The day finally arrived, and we arranged to meet up in
the entrance to my subway station near work. He had finally linked me to a picture of him, but
that wasn’t really an accurate depiction. "Damn, he’s cute!" - first thought to enter my brain
as I skipped down the steps. I walked over, gave him a big hug. It was like we had been friends
forever. 'Cause we were!
I was going through some relationship drama at the time, so friends was all I had room for.
But I still definitely thought about him… and I was looking forward to his return later that year.
Well, my current band (Loki the Grump) and three other bands, all part of a collective called
Girls Rock & Girls Rule, were embarking on a tour for the first time that September. We
needed a road manager – someone who had done this before. I knew the perfect person… Dietmar!
I asked, he said 'yes', and we wound up spending hours on the tour together talking and really
getting to know each other, and getting a bit flirty again. We shared our first lovely kiss the
very last night of the tour, September 30, 2007.
I must admit there was more than a little bit of resistance on my side due to immense fear at
that point of long distance relationships, but after comforting and convincing words from
Dietmar I finally gave in and stepped into my future. He asked, I said 'yes'!
To make a long story short - I was back in New York less than six months later, I managed her
band's East Coast tour, and at the very last day we become a couple. A connection that started
on November 11th, 2001, finally turned into love on September 30th, 2007, almost six years later.
I am still living in Berlin by the time I am writing this, but this is about to change as soon as
we can manage it.
At least we followed The The's advice: 'If you can't change the world, change yourself'. We did. Thanks!
